| An 8-Min. Read

Connecting with your Child + Letting Go of Mom Guilt

Do you find yourself caught up in the busyness of mom life—struggling to keep up with the endless responsibilities while wondering how to make the most of your time with your kids? In this week’s episode we take a deep dive into the practical ways you can incorporate more quality family time into your busy life. We address the guilt, the struggles, and offer solutions that really work—without adding more to your to do list. Tune in above or on your favorite podcast platform or browse the show notes below for the quick insights that’ll set you up for success in the week ahead.

Connecting with Your Child + Letting Go of Mom Guilt

As a busy mom, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to dedicate hours upon hours of uninterrupted time with your kids to be a good mom. But the truth is, quality time is far more important than the quantity of time you spend together. In this article, we’ll debunk the myth that more time with our children equals better parenting and offer five practical strategies for making meaningful connections, even on your busiest days. Say goodbye to guilt and hello to a more fulfilling parenting experience as we redefine effective parenting and turn ordinary moments into extraordinary memories with your children.

Quality Time ≠ Quantity Time

Research suggests that quality time and being an emotionally responsive and supportive parent leads to positive outcomes for our children, but the amount of time spent with our kids does not necessarily correlate with how children turn out.

It’s not about the hours, but the memories we make in those fleeting moments. Remember when you laughed so hard at breakfast because of that silly face your kiddo made? Or that warm feeling when they hugged you goodnight? Those are the moments you + your child live for, and guess what? They didn’t take hours, but they sure left a lasting impact.

To ensure our children’s needs are being met, we should focus on Dr. Dan Siegel + Dr. Tine Payne Bryson’s Four S’s of secure attachment between a child and their parent: to be safe, seen, soothed, and secure. By creating small moments of connection that can deepen our bond with our kids and provide more fulfilling family experiences, we can prioritize quality time over quantity time.

The Magic of Everyday Moments

Think about it—we don’t need grand gestures to connect with our children. Sometimes, it’s the small things like making a meal together, reading their favorite book, or even a quick dance-off in the living room! These moments are in our daily routines, waiting for us to transform them into memories.

Practical Tips for Family Quality Time

So I want us to really look today at how we can create small moments of connection that can deepen your bond with your kids, contribute to their emotional development. And also lead to more fulfilling parenting experiences because you’re gonna find when you focus more on quality, that it’s easier to fit it in, and you start to feel really good about yourself because you see the difference it’s making in your relationship with your child.So let’s explore how we can incorporate quality time into our everyday lives in practical, doable ways without any extra hassle.

Involve Your Child In Routine Tasks

Find ways to involve your child in prepping meals, folding clothes or wiping down counters. It’s a great opportunity to not only connect with them, but also really build their sense of confidence when it comes to being helpful in keeping the families home well managed. And you’ll find that they have a greater sense of ownership, which I feel like is so important, especially as they get older and they are more capable of independently contributing to the day-to-day functioning of your household.

Strike Up Conversation During Meals

The second strategy I want you to try is to create opportunities for mealtime conversations. Now, I know that many modern day families aren’t spending a whole lot of time sitting down together for like a formal dinner. This could even just be breakfast or a snack time, but how can you use. Those little pockets of time where everyone’s kind of together to have some meaningful conversation and and connection.

You don’t really need a whole lot of time to have a quick, meaningful conversation. So even if you have short meal times, I think that you can find a way to have kind of these like appetizer conversations, right, where they’re just short. But engaging, you know, maybe you keep a joke or a riddle book in the kitchen and every day someone can pick a new one.

You can also use kid friendly conversation starters, like TableTopics decks for kids. It doesn’t have to be anything deep. I know sometimes it can feel like pulling teeth If you’re relying on the age-old ‘what’d you do at school today?’ to try + get them talking.

Turn Errands Into Adventures

Let’s find ways to transform your mundane errands into many adventures or even learning opportunities where you’re connecting with your kids. I know that errands can be stressful and time consuming, but I have found that if I can find a way to turn it into an adventure, or at least so that it feels like an adventure, I even enjoy it more.

It helps us focus on a shared goal or objective and helps me focus less on everything that’s going wrong. Find different ways to get the kids really looking for things so they’re not complaining about it taking so long, or trying to ask for everything on the shelves that they can’t have. And try to find ways to play their favorite music or listen to a new audiobook together, bring snacks—do what you can and make it fun and playful. 

Create a Soothing Bedtime Ritual

I know that bedtime can be such a battle for so many families. To be honest, bedtime’s tricky for my kids, too.It’s a time of day where they’re really spending the most time by themselves, and that can feel really scary. So when we think about those Four S’s for our kids, they especially need to go into bedtime, feeling soothed and secure.

So when you create a bedtime ritual, it does require a little bit more intentionally use of time, but it also is such quality time that really sets your little ones up for success that I think you’ll find it’s worth the time and intention. Find a way to create a bedtime ritual that’s going to help you foster a connection with your child, and I think you’ll find that they really come to look forward to this time with you and it will feel really special.

Snuggle and be close, and it really sets them up for just this easier transition into bedtime. I’m not gonna say that it’s perfect, but man, when your kid feels thoroughly relaxed, soothed, they feel really secure in the fact that they have a place in the family and it really helps them be in a better place than if you weren’t doing this quality bedtime ritual together.

The Magic of a 10-Minute Focus Session

And then lastly, this is one of my favorite strategies. Ever, and that’s a quick 10 minute focus. If you can just dedicate 10 minutes of your time where you’re giving them undivided attention to play, to talk, or just simply be together. Maybe you’re snuggling up under a blanket on the couch.

I want you to find that time where you’ve put your phone away. You’re not trying to do chores, you’re really focused on your child. When they see, “Wow, mom’s really focused in on me for these 10 minutes; she’s not focused on anything else,” that means everything to them.

And you may not be able to do it every day, but you’re going to find that this time helps your child’s need of feeling seen and secure in their place in your life. And that will make all the difference because when that need is met, they’re more likely to feel uplifted and confident, which then means you can probably break away after your focus time to get some things done. So if you have something you have to get done that you don’t wanna be interrupted for, I highly recommend a 10 minute focus.

Make Quality Time With Your Family Doable

Remember: focus less on quantity of time and more on your quality of time. Hopefully, you found some practical ways to incorporate quality time into your everyday life because remember, it can be as simple as reading a book during breakfast or turning off your phone during playtime, or having meaningful chats at bedtime.

Remember: it’s all about progress, not perfection, and want you to embrace imperfection and how it’s a beautiful part of this parenting journey. I want you to pick one of these strategies and give it a try. And if you’d like more personalized recommendations for quality time that’s aligned with your child’s unique needs, be sure to grab the Connection Guide for Busy Moms down below. With step-by-step worksheets, you’ll have so much clarity in just a few minutes around which types of quality time are most meaningful to your own family.

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